It continues to amaze me how much of this game is about what's going on in my head. I love how it pushes me to the edges of my self belief and stretches it further, constantly making it bigger and stronger.
Last night we had our first interleague scrimmage. It was my first time scrimmaging against non-friendlies and it threw me a little. In our weekly league scrimmage I know the people on the other team and I like them. I know that they like me and want me to get better and improve my game. That doesn't mean that they take it easy on me but the general vibe towards me is positive and supportive and this acts as a boost for my ever-faltering confidence in my derby abilities. Well last night that rug was pulled out from under me and I didn't expect it.
Noone from the other team actually said anything negative to me and I'm sure that a great percentage of it all was in my head, but I felt the 'you're not very good' and 'this one's the weak link' vibes...which my internal dialogue then began to translate to 'how on earth did she manage to pass skills?' and 'man this girl shouldn't even be scrimmaging.' Needless to say this affected my skating a little, and worst still, made me a more ineffective member of my team. I don't want this to happen in the real world of derby bouting. I will not let this happen in my first interleague bout.
So now it's time to strengthen those mental muscles and pull out some mind gym.
My first step was to go over the scrimmage in my mind and pick out what I did well.
And I was surprised at the resulting list. I hit the jammer on my first run on the track (something I'm usually stoked to do once in a whole evening), I did a sweet truck and trailer to help our jammer through the pack, I hit the oppositions' jammer out of bounds a few times and I was even brave enough to put the jammer panty on once. I didn't do so flash at jamming and ended up in the penalty box but when I got back on track I actually made it through the pack and the other jammer called it off before the two minutes were up so I can't have been looking that bad out there.
Imagine how well I could have done if I just believed in myself??
It was then that I had a lightbulb moment when I realised that I could have been the best skater out there and I still would have heard those negative voices inside.
It's time to kick those to the curb and replace them with positive ones that help me achieve more and skate to the absolute best of my ability.
So I'm off to google sports psychology and hit the library for some good books on the subject. I'll let you know what gems I discover......
Last night we had our first interleague scrimmage. It was my first time scrimmaging against non-friendlies and it threw me a little. In our weekly league scrimmage I know the people on the other team and I like them. I know that they like me and want me to get better and improve my game. That doesn't mean that they take it easy on me but the general vibe towards me is positive and supportive and this acts as a boost for my ever-faltering confidence in my derby abilities. Well last night that rug was pulled out from under me and I didn't expect it.
Noone from the other team actually said anything negative to me and I'm sure that a great percentage of it all was in my head, but I felt the 'you're not very good' and 'this one's the weak link' vibes...which my internal dialogue then began to translate to 'how on earth did she manage to pass skills?' and 'man this girl shouldn't even be scrimmaging.' Needless to say this affected my skating a little, and worst still, made me a more ineffective member of my team. I don't want this to happen in the real world of derby bouting. I will not let this happen in my first interleague bout.
So now it's time to strengthen those mental muscles and pull out some mind gym.
My first step was to go over the scrimmage in my mind and pick out what I did well.
And I was surprised at the resulting list. I hit the jammer on my first run on the track (something I'm usually stoked to do once in a whole evening), I did a sweet truck and trailer to help our jammer through the pack, I hit the oppositions' jammer out of bounds a few times and I was even brave enough to put the jammer panty on once. I didn't do so flash at jamming and ended up in the penalty box but when I got back on track I actually made it through the pack and the other jammer called it off before the two minutes were up so I can't have been looking that bad out there.
Imagine how well I could have done if I just believed in myself??
It was then that I had a lightbulb moment when I realised that I could have been the best skater out there and I still would have heard those negative voices inside.
It's time to kick those to the curb and replace them with positive ones that help me achieve more and skate to the absolute best of my ability.
So I'm off to google sports psychology and hit the library for some good books on the subject. I'll let you know what gems I discover......
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| Love this picture by Elektraqtion on her blog. |
It definitely can be a wake-up call when scrimmaging with other leagues. I've done it a couple of times now with my new league and it really makes you aware of your own strengths and weaknesses in terms of team work and strategy, when you regularly rely on your own team mates so much and know how they work with instinct!
ReplyDeleteGood blog post, looking forward to hearing what books you find!