Okay, I know - I've totally neglected the blogging.
For the best of reasons though...I've been too busy playing derby to have time to write about it!
My first two Allstar bouts in three weeks have taken me on a big learning curve and apologies for anyone who's been waiting for me to blog how it went!
First up we had the triple header in Nelson. To be honest I was almost as excited about a weekend away in Nelson without the kids as I was about the derby. Friday morning saw me on a last minute emergency shop when I realised that the only 'handbag' I had to take was a nappy bag....that just was not going to happen....and yes I bought the smallest possible bag I could!
Saturday was bout day, I'd managed to stay calm and distracted (shopping!!) for most of the day but by the time the track was open nerves had reduced me to freshmeat grabbiness for the warmup. Not the best start. I spent most of the pre-game lockdown trying to psych my confidence back up.
Desperately I tried to remember any great moves I'd managed to pull out at the last few scrimmages, trying to convince myself that I could bout at Allstar level. Besides I had no choice, I had to bout at Allstar level! The actual games were a blur, I managed to do my part some of the time but, as usual for me, my head game was where the real battle was going on. I just couldn't get in the space where I believed I could do it. I was so convinced that I'd done badly that it was a pleasant surprise when the bout photos popped up, showing me doing all sorts of useful things....
I had to sort out my head fast before our next bout - in three weeks!
So I had a chat to one of our coaches about how to attack it.
The problem was I hadn't had to 'tryout' for the team. Being a small league meant that all our bout-ready skaters were on the Allstars.
And I'm pretty smart, I know that if I belonged to a larger league I would not be bouting in their Allstars team....yet. So when I tried to change my thinking and convince myself that I was good enough - I knew that I was full of it!
Luckily my coach didn't try and convince me of that either or the same thing would have happened again.
Instead she agreed with me - that I wasn't good enough to play at that level (I know, encouraging right?). She pointed out that I was still going to bout and that I should see it as a chance to learn. Perfect. Just what I needed to do. So instead of fighting to feel good enough at our next bout I focused on learning....about my role in the team...about how not to get distracted by the crowd....about how to stay on my feet after a hit.....about how to be an asset to my team rather than a liability.
And it worked! I had my best game yet, managed to stay on my feet for most of the time I was on the track and didn't get goated EVEN ONCE!!! This is huge progress for me!
More importantly I had an awesome time, instead of panicking about whether I would have to go on for the next jam, I couldn't wait to get called up next.
Which brings me nicely to my next goal.....to not only be awesome enough that there is no doubt that I belong on the Allstars team but to make it onto my team's 'Oh Shit' list. When the bout is going badly and the bench manager thinks 'Oh Shit' they pull out that list, and then rinse and repeat.
Those players get all the track time they want....and I'm going to be on that list........
For the best of reasons though...I've been too busy playing derby to have time to write about it!
My first two Allstar bouts in three weeks have taken me on a big learning curve and apologies for anyone who's been waiting for me to blog how it went!
First up we had the triple header in Nelson. To be honest I was almost as excited about a weekend away in Nelson without the kids as I was about the derby. Friday morning saw me on a last minute emergency shop when I realised that the only 'handbag' I had to take was a nappy bag....that just was not going to happen....and yes I bought the smallest possible bag I could!
Saturday was bout day, I'd managed to stay calm and distracted (shopping!!) for most of the day but by the time the track was open nerves had reduced me to freshmeat grabbiness for the warmup. Not the best start. I spent most of the pre-game lockdown trying to psych my confidence back up.
Desperately I tried to remember any great moves I'd managed to pull out at the last few scrimmages, trying to convince myself that I could bout at Allstar level. Besides I had no choice, I had to bout at Allstar level! The actual games were a blur, I managed to do my part some of the time but, as usual for me, my head game was where the real battle was going on. I just couldn't get in the space where I believed I could do it. I was so convinced that I'd done badly that it was a pleasant surprise when the bout photos popped up, showing me doing all sorts of useful things....
So I had a chat to one of our coaches about how to attack it.
The problem was I hadn't had to 'tryout' for the team. Being a small league meant that all our bout-ready skaters were on the Allstars.
And I'm pretty smart, I know that if I belonged to a larger league I would not be bouting in their Allstars team....yet. So when I tried to change my thinking and convince myself that I was good enough - I knew that I was full of it!
Luckily my coach didn't try and convince me of that either or the same thing would have happened again.
Instead she agreed with me - that I wasn't good enough to play at that level (I know, encouraging right?). She pointed out that I was still going to bout and that I should see it as a chance to learn. Perfect. Just what I needed to do. So instead of fighting to feel good enough at our next bout I focused on learning....about my role in the team...about how not to get distracted by the crowd....about how to stay on my feet after a hit.....about how to be an asset to my team rather than a liability.
And it worked! I had my best game yet, managed to stay on my feet for most of the time I was on the track and didn't get goated EVEN ONCE!!! This is huge progress for me!
More importantly I had an awesome time, instead of panicking about whether I would have to go on for the next jam, I couldn't wait to get called up next.
Which brings me nicely to my next goal.....to not only be awesome enough that there is no doubt that I belong on the Allstars team but to make it onto my team's 'Oh Shit' list. When the bout is going badly and the bench manager thinks 'Oh Shit' they pull out that list, and then rinse and repeat.
Those players get all the track time they want....and I'm going to be on that list........
