Bouting not Blogging

Okay, I know - I've totally neglected the blogging.
For the best of reasons though...I've been too busy playing derby to have time to write about it!  
My first two Allstar bouts in three weeks have taken me on a big learning curve and apologies for anyone who's been waiting for me to blog how it went!
First up we had the triple header in Nelson.  To be honest I was almost as excited about a weekend away in Nelson without the kids as I was about the derby.  Friday morning saw me on a last minute emergency shop when I realised that the only 'handbag' I had to take was a nappy bag....that just was not going to happen....and yes I bought the smallest possible bag I could!
Saturday was bout day, I'd managed to stay calm and distracted (shopping!!) for most of the day but by the time the track was open nerves had reduced me to freshmeat grabbiness for the warmup.  Not the best start. I spent most of the pre-game lockdown trying to psych my confidence back up.
Desperately I tried to remember any great moves I'd managed to pull out at the last few scrimmages, trying to convince myself that I could bout at Allstar level.  Besides I had no choice, I had to bout at Allstar level! The actual games were a blur, I managed to do my part some of the time but, as usual for me, my head game was where the real battle was going on.  I just couldn't get in the space where I believed I could do it.  I was so convinced that I'd done badly that it was a pleasant surprise when the bout photos popped up, showing me doing all sorts of useful things....

I had to sort out my head fast before our next bout - in three weeks!
So I had a chat to one of our coaches about how to attack it.
The problem was I hadn't had to 'tryout' for the team.  Being a small league meant that all our bout-ready skaters were on the Allstars.
And I'm pretty smart, I know that if I belonged to a larger league I would not be bouting in their Allstars team....yet.  So when I tried to change my thinking and convince myself that I was good enough - I knew that I was full of it!  
Luckily my coach didn't try and convince me of that either or the same thing would have happened again.
Instead she agreed with me - that I wasn't good enough to play at that level (I know, encouraging right?). She pointed out that I was still going to bout and that I should see it as a chance to learn.  Perfect. Just what I needed to do.  So instead of fighting to feel good enough at our next bout I focused on learning....about my role in the team...about how not to get distracted by the crowd....about how to stay on my feet after a hit.....about how to be an asset to my team rather than a liability.
And it worked!  I had my best game yet, managed to stay on my feet for most of the time I was on the track and didn't get goated EVEN ONCE!!! This is huge progress for me!
More importantly I had an awesome time, instead of panicking about whether I would have to go on for the next jam, I couldn't wait to get called up next.
Which brings me nicely to my next goal.....to not only be awesome enough that there is no doubt that I belong on the Allstars team but to make it onto my team's 'Oh Shit' list. When the bout is going badly and the bench manager thinks 'Oh Shit' they pull out that list, and then rinse and repeat.  
Those players get all the track time they want....and I'm going to be on that list........

Bringing my best to my Allstar Debut!

Only three more sleeps until the triple header in Nelson.  I figured this was a good time to pull together some sports psychology tips on being at your best for the big game.
Most of it is just good old common sense.  Look after yourself.  Eat well and sleep well. You can't ask your body to perform awesomely on the day if you haven't been treating it awesomely during the buildup.  
Take care of as many details as possible before the day arrives.  Know where the game is and how you will get there.  Make sure your gear and boutfit are all ready to go.  The less energy you have to spend on these things on the day of the bout the more energy you will have to put towards playing.  It also reduces the chances of a last minute crisis happening, leaving you feeling drained and stressed out.
A lot of people I have talked to have prebout rituals that they use to help get them in the right frame of mind to play.  Music, makeup, movies, there are many ways to do this.  
Because I am not a naturally aggressive or competitive person I have decided that I need to get my Bee-arch on before the game.  I will put my 'warpaint' and boutfit on and visualise landing great hits, stopping the opposition's jammer and fiercely protecting our jammer and helping her through.  

Two surprising 'don'ts' came up again and again in my reading though - and they are certainly mistakes I would have made before my research into it.
Don't focus on winning or losing.  If you worry about how the game will end you won't be focusing on the moment at hand.  You actually have very little control over what the scoreboard will read at the final whistle.  If you focus on that you run the risk of panicking if you get behind or getting too cocky if you get ahead.  And you stop paying attention to what you do have control over...how you play this jam NOW!
Don't focus on your opponent.  It doesn't matter how awesome the other team looks, how big their blockers are or how fast they skate in the warm-up.  None of these factors will change what YOU have to do to play YOUR best game.
Stay positive, focus on you strengths and what you have to do to play your best.
Most importantly, focus on being a part of an awesome team, and smile!  

ROLLER DERBY WITH OUR FRIENDS!!!

More Boosting from Bonnie

The confidence boosting statements are working, well some of them anyway.  

The short and specific ones have been the most useful, these are the ones that pop into my head right when they are needed and change my usual response.

Like 'I recover so quickly' jumping into my head as soon as I hit the floor, rather than the old disempowering thoughts of being annoyed at myself for being down again.

And suddenly remembering 'I can take big hits' when I see that scary blocker headed my way and knowing that I'm up for the challenge.  

My other statements just weren't catching on in the same way though. Some of them were too broad...like 'I can improve my jamming' and 'you shall not pass'. There was no specific skill for me to focus on and do differently.  

Especially the jammer one - I just couldn't find a way to put any confidence into my jamming attempts.  It was like I was trying to convince myself of something but I had already decided it wasn't true.  Clearly, I needed a different approach for this one.  

Then I watched a story on Sarah Walker, NZ's world champion BMX rider. 

Sarah Walker Interview

She starts talking about working with a sports psychologist at about the 7 min mark on the video but it's just after the 12:45 mark that really hit a note with me.  

I knew I needed to do this for when I was jamming.  Some steps to check through - a thought process to focus on that would get my head in the right, confident space for taking on the pack.  

I watched this a few weeks ago now and I've just been waiting - waiting for the right info to fill in the blanks.

Cue weekend of derby awesomeness with the legendary Bonnie D. Stroir. Motivation and confidence boosting are a big part if her bootcamp teaching so of course I soaked that all up as much as I could.  

It was also incredibly encouraging to me how much I had improved since my last bootcamp experience...Derby firsts...and just spending that much time on skates in one go hugely accelerates your usual learning curve.  

But the best part was that I came away with a thought process for jamming. This is what I came up with from Bonnie's awesome teaching on jamming -

1. I am Hunting   2. Find the blindspot  3. Move my feet  4. Stay shallow  5. Keep moving

My phrases will probably be different than what you would use, and they will probably be different than what I will use in a year's time.

I haven't had the chance to try them yet in scrimmage but for the first time ever I am looking forward a little to giving jamming a go!

Birthday Time!!

Today is my Derby Birthday.
One year ago today I finally got the guts to put my 80's skates in the car and drive down to Hagley Park netball courts.  I wandered through the netball girls trying to find a group of strangers on skates and finally found them putting layers of protective gear on.  Warbow gave up her pads and helmet for me (she's generous like that) so that I could join in with the others in some basic drills.
I could skate a little already (although it had been years since I'd done any skating) but I was so embarrassingly unfit that I had to stop often to catch my breath.  No one seemed to care about that though...they only encouraged me when I would join back in again.  We had birthday cake (it was Shiner's birthday) afterwards and Crash drunk her water out of a wine bottle because she couldn't find anything else to put it in at home.  And just like that I was hooked.
And changed.
Boy how I've changed.
People often ask me how Iain feels about the amount of time derby takes up.  He is an awesome and generous man who knows how important it has become to me (I need to constantly make sure I don't take that for granted and that my family still comes first).  He knows the difference it has made and, I hope, is enjoying the benefits of a wife who can cope a lot better with everyday life and with being a Mum.
366 days ago I was on the highest dose possible of my anti-depressant medication, and even that only kept it at bay most of the time.    Since my first child had been born 6 years earlier, I'd needed regular therapeutic massage to keep the tension headaches away.  I saw my massage therapist again last week when I treated myself to a leg massage (I thought I'd asked a lot of them over the last year and they were probably overdue for a little TLC).  She was blown away by the difference in me, she even said I had the legs of an athlete.....oh yes she did!!
366 days ago I had never been called Buzz,  had no idea how hard 25 in 5 would be to crack, didn't know what a low block was, had never known the joy of a league meeting.....
366 days ago I had no idea that I would feel so proud pulling on my own printed Allstars uniform last night for the first time. Or that I would be so determined to work hard enough to deserve it and keep wearing it.
But the thing that blows me away the most is that 366 days ago I had never even met Daroll, Hammer, Legs, Unit, Knox, Warbow, Terror, Shiner, Tease, Crash, Karnage, Dizzy, Aggro, Str8e, Bone, Slaughter, Spunky, Munter, Meanie, Fury, Tia, Hoff, Gigawatts, Burger, Slam and Baddy - my derby family that just keeps growing.  Each one of you have inspired me, in words and example and I can't imagine not having you all as a part of my life now.
So Thank You - you have all made my life richer.
And let's have another Awesome Derby Year!!!

Confidence Boosting 101.

It turns out there is a lot of stuff out there to read about sports psychology and how the mind affects the body's performance. I know, totally surprised right??
So the first thing I had to do was narrow down the aspect of my mental game that I most needed to work on first...which mind muscle was going to get the workout.  This was an easy decision for me - CONFIDENCE...it's by far my weakest point.
The psychology behind sports confidence is actually pretty solid and defined as two specific types of confidence.
The first is Trait Sports Confidence.  This is most easily described as confidence that is a personality trait of the athlete. These are the people who are so naturally confident in their ability that no matter how badly they perform nothing can sway them from this belief.  As long as they are careful not to veer off into arrogance, people with high trait confidence usually do well it sport, they refuse to give up and see themselves as able to achieve at the highest level.  
The bad news is that the research shows there is not much you can do to increase trait confidence....you either have it or you don't.  I don't think it's too wild a guess to say that many of us in the derby world don't have an abundant supply of trait sports confidence.  Many of you, like me, were the last to get picked in the school teams and are only now, as adults, appreciating the joy of being active and athletic.  The fact that I have shyed away from trying most sports in itself probably indicates that I have low trait sports confidence, I never believed I would or could be good at them.
So now for the good news - trait confidence is not the most important type of confidence when it comes to performing well in sport.
That job belongs to State Sports Confidence and there is plenty that you can do to beef up that muscle.   State confidence is your belief in your ability to perform in a particular given situation.  On the track, at the jammer line, against that massive hardhitting blocker it's your belief in how you can cope with that situation at that moment (state confidence) that matters, not whether you generally think you are the best thing on eight wheels (trait confidence).  The most obvious example of the difference between these two types of confidence is the classic star player who misses the deciding goal.  Even though they may have oodles of trait confidence they don't believe that they can make the all important shot for the team when it's all on the line.
So this is what I need to work on - a bit like a physio does, I have isolated and named the weak and problematic muscle....State Confidence.  I'm sure most of you could do with building up this muscle...even if it's only in one situation or circumstance that you find it wanting.
There is an abundance of exercises and theory on how to best build your state confidence but I'm going to start with positive self-talk.
Now I'm not into any airy-fairy stuff where you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are three times a day so this is how I'm going to break it down (just in case you want to give it a go as well)....

1.  List 5 thoughts or situations on the track that make me feel least confident.
Mine are: when I'm against a hard hitting blocker, when I'm on the jammer line, when I fall over alot, when I'm 'the goat', when the jammer skates right past me without me even attempting a hit.

2.  Come up 5 phrases to counter these confidence suckers.
Funny thing is as I look at my list of situations  I definitely already have a phrase for each of them, just not helpful ones - "I'm going to get injured"  "I'm so bad at jamming" "I must look useless falling over this much" "I can't get past"  "I didn't do my job, I've let the team down"...so it's time to find some replacements!
They need to be easy to remember, even in the middle of scrimmage, and they need to be believable.  No good telling myself that I can jam like Suzy Hotrod, I will just laugh myself out of the room.
"I can take big hits" "I can improve my jamming" "I recover so quickly!" "I can make holes" and my favourite borrowed from Lord of the Rings...."You shall not pass!"

3. Write my new ass-kicking statements on two pieces of card (preferably laminated to make it last longer) and attach one to my training bag.  Read them every time I get my gear in and out of my bag - so that's at least twice every training session and once a week when I clean my pads.....because us derby girls always do that weekly!  I will attach the other copy to my wallet or mirror (if I must!) or computer screen so that I see it several times a day.  Every time I see the cards I will read through them - out loud if I'm somewhere that won't be embarrassing - and I will say it like I mean it......until I do!

The good old fake it till you make it.  Heres hoping it works!!

I've lost my mojo......

and I'm really not sure how to get it back again.
I know why I've lost it.  A bad combination of things including 2 weeks school holidays (all you mums out there know how much mojo that can suck out of you) and a flu/cold that just won't go away.   Also, I think I've just started my first natural plateau in training.
So here I am tired, snuffly, and just a little unmotivated.  I had been warned about the plateaus - when suddenly you don't seem to be improving anymore despite doing the same amount of training you always have.  And I know that that's when you need to push it up a notch - train that little bit harder to push through.  Instead with the other things going on I have had to take it down a few notches and it is incredibly frustrating.
And rotten timing.
We have our next interleague scrimmage on Wednesday and after my mental game putting me in a spin last time I was determined to be in a better place mentally and physically for this next one.  Instead it will be marginal whether I'm actually well enough to scrimmage and if I am I will be taking it easy...not exactly the killer mental space I'd hoped for.
And the calendar is racing towards my first Allstars game in May...I was hoping to lift my game so much before then.  Now I'll be struggling to get back to where I was a fortnight ago.
But for now I need a plan.  A plan to get back my mojo as fast as possible.
Starting with getting better.  I need to eat and sleep well, take my vitamins, stretch lots and listen to my body.  If I can't handle training then I need to stop.  It's one thing to push yourself when you are well but when your body is fighting a bug it's just stupid.  It will not be the end of the world if I miss a week of training, I will miss far more if this flu lingers around for another month.
I can also use the time to work on my mental game.  I've been looking into sports psychology for a few weeks now and I"ve finally made my way through the trashy pages wanting to sell me something to find some really useful stuff.  I've realised that my first issue to deal with is self-confidence...I don't really have any and I rely on my team-mates confidence in me instead.  So I will be working that confidence muscle over the next few weeks to see if I can get it to start working properly.
Hopefully these steps will see me get my mojo back and start to push through that plateau quickly enough that I can still bring my best to the game in May. Any other tips???

Divide and Conquer (or tips for the 25)

Watching the new freshmeat last night trying to break the 25 laps in 5 minutes was a big old trip down memory lane.  

Even though it was only a few months back, it feels so long ago that I was desperately willing my legs to keep doing crossovers properly even though they had turned to jelly.  Collapsing at the end of the 25 laps, gasping for air, gutted that I hadn't made it again and no idea where I could possibly find the extra go to shave those last 15 seconds off.  I remember searching online for some tips, anything, that could help me get there.  Finding bits of advice here and there, listening to my coaches (yes it does help!!) and perserverance got me there in the end.  

I thought I'd pay it forward and put it all together for those dedicated and frustrated freshies coming through behind me. 

So here it is....my collection of tips (mostly learnt the hard way!) on how to break the 25 in 5.....

1.  Moving your feet faster will not make you skate faster!  It will just make you exhausted and more likely to fall over.  Long, strong strides...pushing down and through.  And big, deep crossovers. If you need to rest - glide the straights but always, ALWAYS skate the corners and do the crossovers.

2.  Skate the diamond.

 Hopefully you can see past my bad drawing skills - the green dots are where you have to do crossovers.

3.  Breathe. 

4.  Use your arms.  Moving my arms like a runner - cutting the air in front of me, really helped me with the rest of my skating form.  I think it mostly just gave me a rhythm and something easy to focus on.

5.  Grab a buddy.  One of the things I like about roller derby is that it's a team sport.  Where does it say in the skills testing rulebook that you have to tackle the 25 laps without help??  Find a sympathetic old meat and ask them to skate in front of you so that you can mimic their form around the track and know what kind of pace you need to aim for.

6.  Keep breathing.

7.  Break it down.  It occured to me after my 2nd failed attempt that I had to be able to skate 5 laps in a minute before I was ever going to conquer the 25 in 5.  So I tried it and sure enough it took me 1 minute and 5 seconds.  This made it clear that my form and technique weren't good enough yet - I needed to focus on that and get that right first.

8.  Be stubborn.  Honestly I think this was the one thing that helped me most in the end.  Just being good-old-fashioned-hard-headed about it.  I decided I would do it, no matter how many attempts it took.  I practiced every chance I could.  During warm up and cool down laps at training I was working on one of the points listed above.  Every time I was circling the track it was a chance to improve something that would help me get there.  I'm sure I drove the coaches crazy with my constant requests to time me doing this or that, or 'could I please have another go at the 25 while the oldmeat were taking their gear off and stretching??'  In retrospect I probably should have remembered occasionally that it wasn't all about me....but it did help me get there in the end!!

It was tough getting there but it was one of favourite derby moments so far....

Lying on the ground completely spent....smile so big it made my face hurt.....trying to high five from the floor when the others came over to congratulate me....knowing that I had finally done it.